Is everyone entitled to a private life or only politicians?

Alun Politics 1 Comment

Black teen­ager Cameron Day was today found “youth­ful and fool­ish” in a trial fol­low­ing alleg­a­tions of pos­sess­ing Class-A drugs. Mr Day, an unem­ployed man from Brix­ton sought to clear the air on the steps of the Old Bailey:

“I’m grat­i­fied to find that the court accep­ted my plea that this was a private mat­ter and that the intru­sion into what was a per­sonal affair was utterly unwar­ran­ted. I now plan to return to my fam­ily and would ask the media to respect my pri­vacy.”

Mr Day refused to cla­rify alleg­a­tions that he had exper­i­mented with drugs whilst tem­por­ar­ily a jan­itor at Eton.

“It is a mat­ter of record that I was briefly at Eton, where I had a nor­mal Eton exper­i­ence. This is com­pletely irrel­ev­ant to the import­ant issue of what I plan to do about the drugs prob­lem should I become Prime Min­is­ter DJ at the Min­istry of Sound. Fur­ther like any other work­ing class man I reserve the right to become leader of a polt­ical party at some time in the future and thus have a right to a private life before I do so.”

Prom­in­ent MPs have all ral­lied to Mr Day’s offence. Mr Cork­screw, the Mem­ber of Par­lia­ment for Amal­gam­ated Hold­ings plc said:

“Whether or not Mr Cameron Day has taken drugs is not the issue. In twenty-five years time it will have happened twenty-five years ago. It is vital that Mr Day be allowed to main­tain the fic­tion he has made no mis­takes, rather than state that those mis­takes have given him the exper­i­ence to make more informed decisions on import­ant issues.”