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Dr Arnall’s happiness formula is: O + (N x S) + Cpm/T + He. Put more simply, a numerical value for being outdoors (O) was added to nature (N) multiplied by social interaction (S), added to childhood summer memories and positive thoughts (Cpm) divided by temperature (T), and added to holiday excitement (He).

So explains the Daily Telegraph. When dividing a smaller denominator gives a bigger number. 1/10 is a bigger number than 1/100 despite 100 being bigger than 10. When T approaches zero Cpm/T approaches infinity. Dr Arnall is we will be happiest when T = 0. That’s a summer where the temperature hits freezing point if you’re measuring in Centigrade,* when you’ll be infinitely happy. If you’re measuring in Fahrenheit you’ll be euphoric when the temperature reaches the equivalent of -18ºC.

What’s painful to read is that he doesn’t seem to understand his own formula. He’s quoted as saying: “June has also seen some warm weather after the cold spring, with people hoping more warm spells are ahead,” without warning that in his fantasy this warm weather would be less pleasing than cold and drizzle.

*Anders Celsius originally set his scale the other way round, so that boiling point was 0º and water froze at 100º. Despite this, I strongly doubt Dr Arnall would he happy if someone tripped and spilled the contents of a boiling kettle over him.